Context
Go read this article:
It’s very good. If you’re in any way expecting this article to be some kind of “rebuttal” to that article let me say this very clearly: It is not.
What it is, is a confession, that my experience of Orcs (and Kobolds, and Goblins, and…) has simply not been the same as everyone elses. And that difference can be seen through out my entire gaming history.
Mom’s Monsters
My mom was not like other moms. My mom performed elemental summoning rituals with my cousins, before D&D was invented. My mom was a trance medium. My mom wrote and directed plays the living room of our home. My mom caught wind of the satanic panic and rushed right out to Toy’s ‘R’ Us to buy Red Box D&D.
My mom also had saying, “To keep a boy (forgive her gender foibles) happy, give him monsters.” She put Where The Wild Things Are in my hands as soon as possible.
Also, my mom doesn’t like fantasy and never encouraged me to read any (Greek myth being an exception) To this day I have never read Lord of the Rings. I only read Howard, Leiber, Smith and Moorcock starting in my mid-20s.
Now, my mom does love history (including myth) and horror movies. I saw Sweeny Todd live (George Hearn and Angela Lansbury) and Clash of the Titans at 5, I saw Poltergeist at 6. Alien and Jaws whenever they were first broadcast on television.
So when we delved into that first dungeon and I turned to my DM (my mom), and asked, “What’s an Orc?” She said, “It’s a creature that has arms and legs but with the head of a pig!” And from that moment on this is what I thought an orc was:
Monsters Don’t Have Culture or Ecologies
You see, with my primary childhood referent for “the fantastic” being horror movies, my idea of a monster is: a highly unique, unreproducable, localized, frighting and largely unknowable *force* antithetical to human life. A personified metaphor for human suffering and evil.
The idea that orcs were “savage” tribal raiders with leaders and culture and even children was not part of my understanding. Anyone who asked me, “Would you kill an orc child?” would just get a very confused and puzzled look as I didn’t even understand the question. It wasn’t until I was older and could read the AD&D manual and discovered the half-orc which I thought was a really weird concept. And as soon as I read about Orcs in AD&D my reaction was immediately felt:
“But that’s not a monster.”
And that’s how I felt about Kobolds which I originally thought of as like Tommyknockers in mines.
And Goblins which I thought of like Gremlins in machinery.
In fact, until very recently, I would have sworn to you up and down that this whole mythology around these creatures being tribal and organized and anything but “unknowable things that dwell below in the darkness” was something that was added in AD&D. I would have SWORN up and down that all that tribal culture stuff wasn’t part of B/X D&D. (Hint: I was wrong).
Going into 2nd Edition D&D I really came to hate the culture/habitat section of the monster manual. It literally made no sense to me. There’s A Minotaur in some labyrinth out there placed by divine fate. They do not come in 1d6 herds or whatever wandering the wilderness. It’s not a MONSTER if it’s natural or has a habitat or a reproductive cycle or a culture. THAT’S NOT A MONSTER.
White Wolf Further Confuses The Issue
Given what I’ve said above you can imagine my reaction to Vampire: The Masquerade. Vampire society? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? I skipped the whole World of Darkness. When people asked me why, I simply said, “I’m not interested in playing monsters.” But I’m not sure people really understood what I meant by that.
How Chill Saved Monsters
And then I found The Mayfair Edition of Chill and my sanity was once again restored. Here in their “Things” section were MONSTERS. Largely unique, unreproducable, localized, frighting and largely unknowable *force* antithetical to human life. A personified metaphor for human suffering and evil. Especially the ghosts. Chill has the BEST ghosts. There’s basically one for every kind of human failing.
How Sorcerer Saved Fantasy
And then, I discovered Sorcerer. Sorcerer, the game about people summoning demons for power. And when discussing this game Ron, the game’s author, would say this phrase: “Demon’s don’t exist, not even in the fiction of the game,” and everyone would freak out about this statement. But I knew.
They don’t have culture. They don’t have a habitat. They don’t “exist” in the world. And yet here one is, offering you a bargain. Existential Horror.
Through it’s supplement Sorcerer & Sword I discovered a kind of fantasy fiction where people were people and monsters were truly monsters. If there’s racist and sexist allegory it’s because there’s problems with the depictions and treatments of PEOPLE. But monsters? Monsters are slavering fanged horrors of darkness. I love Sorcerer’s description of this fiction as “not horrific adventure stories but adventurous horror stories.”
Just like the D&D mom used to make.
From There To D&D Again
When I run D&D today, I stick mostly to Undead, Constructs and Fiends as enemies. Things that are the result or manifestations of human hubris and other failings. I often use Giant Beasts and Plants and Monstrosities but they are placed to emphasize the weirdness and corrupting influences of the dark corners of the earth where only adventurers are brave enough to tread.
I don’t use Orcs or Goblins or Kobolds. And you aren’t going to encounter any Trolls or Gnolls on the roads from town to town. If it could be replaced by a person with a sword or spear, you will meet a person with a sword or spear.
I love monsters. I love monster art. I love monster manuals. I own the Monster Manual, and Volo’s Guide to Monsters and Mordenkainen’s Tome of Foes but just like those 2nd Edition Habitat/Culture blocks I don’t really read them. I just look at the art and the stat blocks and let my imagination fill in the rest.
If I’m building a haunted watery shrine I just pull up everything with a swim speed until I see the thing I don’t want to find there. You see, I don’t believe you can kill monsters with a sword. Survive its attack? Cut down its material form? Sure. But chances are it’ll come back or it was never really there in the first place?
The only way you can truly kill a monster is by explaining it.
Thoughts in Darkness 